Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
