people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize