walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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