I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
