When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
