You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
