im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
