Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
420 ftw
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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