really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
