Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
