I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
