I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
