i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
