i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
