Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
