I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
