i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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