She is in my trunk
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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