The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
