The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Randomize
