If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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