haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
