Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I am available for nakedness
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