How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
