I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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