What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
