were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
