i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The uberlube is also flammable
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
