I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
