Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
