I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
