we made out on top of his cat.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
