I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
