why didn't you poke me back
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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