You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
