Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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