I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Is Oprah even human
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
