i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
