you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
