just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
