What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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