And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
