just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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