As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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