then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
