Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
