I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
