atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
