I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
