Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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