Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
