I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
